1. Happy New Year! 2014 was both the best and the worst year of my life. I made 4 zines, met some amazing people, went to some of the best exhibitions I've ever been to, turned 17, got better AS results than I had expected, rode in the back of a police car, saw Morrissey live, read lots of amazing books, saw some life changing and life affirming films, started to care less about what other people think, opened up to people a lot more, took a month's break from tumblr, saw Lorde live, wrote poems that became progressively less mopey and shit and more shareable, spent too much money on patterned tights, expanded my record collection and got published in the Daily Mail.
2. I have a good feeling about 2015. It is a nice, round number. Looking back over 2014 retrospectively I'm kind of amazed about how far I've come since this time last year.
3. The New Year kicked off to an amazing start, with my writing being properly published for the first time in the Daily Mail. I sent them this post about Victoria's Secret and feminism and it was given half a page with a large title and a photo of me taken by Antonio. Click here to read the full scan.
4. On New Year's Day I watched The Theory of Everything. It was really moving and I can't think of a much better film to start off the New Year by watching. Any review I could give of it would be rather jaded and unoriginal, but I do urge you to watch it because it inspired me to have the vision to persist and be dedicated to what I think is important in 2015. It also reminded me to love life and live it to the fullest of my ability because it is sad but also so beautiful.
Shoes- Public Desire
I didn't make any resolutions last year, but this year I've written down lots of ways in which I want to evolve and lots of goals that I want to achieve in 2015. I think I might actually try to keep them this time. These are just a few.
- Read more
- Learn when to let go
- Get better at speaking my mind
- Do things that make ME feel good
- Journal more
- Love myself
- Love myself
- Love myself
This outfit was inspired by Alexander Wang Resort 2015 because WOW. that. collection.
I keep staying up late journalling which sounds all cute and creative and it feels that way at the time, but it's making me so exhausted. I think I'm already a little worried that I will waste 2015 so I don't want to let any time go. Part of letting go for me was about spontaneous all-nighters, but it should also be about worrying less.
I've also been drawing a lot from Vision. Often I refer to Rookie's past and present themes at the start of each month, and on Christmas Day I reread Forever and nearly cried. I've spent the last week or so really immersing myself in being a teenager and feeling feelings that I associate with adolescence, but this year I will go from a teenager to a legal adult and that's kind of sad, but it's also what I've spent the past 4 years of my life waiting for. I wrote this in my journal on New Year's Day:
I'm not afraid of what's to come. I'm not afraid of moving away from home, for leaving behind the life of 400 Lux and Palo Alto. I made a playlist for the New Year and I listened to it this morning whilst I was writing out my goals for 2015 and it filled me with the most contented + melancholy feeling, and it's such a mix of artists and genres but it felt cohesive anyway because that's what it means to me.
It's such a strange teenage feeling, that strong emotional pull that is followed by trying to materialise that feeling with a playlist or a poem or a journal entry. But I realised that I'm not going to change too much. Feeling everything strongly is just something that makes me me and that won't change on 9th August. I don't need to worry about not photographing everything or remembering every drunk thought because I'll keep experiencing and thinking similar things (excitement, disappointment, anticipation, anxiety, positivity.) I'm not dependent on the future being great but I'm happy and excited about the direction it seems to be going in.
Anyway, I hope you get everything you wish for in 2015 and have a good weekend.